From Fire to Flight: A Guide to Rising From Life's Ashes
I'll be upfront with you—I'm writing this guide as much for myself as for you. When I found myself in the unfortunate club of young women pregnant with cancer, it was a full-stop moment for me and my family. Cancer and its wicked tail—treatments, mental health challenges, life-altering limitations, infertility, surgeries, near-death episodes, ambulances, ICUs, life support, medical mistakes, marriage problems, existential crises, and loss of faith—altered me at my core.
The girl I was became lost, stillborn in her own life. All my dreams—the marriage I envisioned, the family I would raise—were dead on arrival.
But here's what I've learned about endings: sometimes they're just beginnings in disguise.
The Order-Disorder-Reorder Dance
Father Richard Rohr, a modern-day faith leader and mystic, taught me something profound: there's actually a GPS system to our troubles. We're constantly in one of three places: Order, Disorder, or Reorder.
Order is the life we planned—the one where I wasn't supposed to be fighting for my life while growing a new one. Disorder? That's the cancer diagnosis, the organ failures, the moment they gave me a week to live. But Reorder... that's where the magic happens. That's where we find gifts we never knew we needed and couldn't have gotten any other way.
The Phoenix on the 9th Floor
Let me tell you about someone who taught me about rising from ashes.
As a clinical social worker at Mayo Clinic, my days started at 8 AM in the ICU on the 9th floor of Methodist Hospital. One day, I met a young woman whose cancer had returned with a vengeance. During a rare good moment, we sat together in the hospital courtyard, medical pumps buzzing around us like persistent bees.
She turned her head and showed me something remarkable—a massive phoenix tattoo, mostly hidden under her regrown hair. "You're a fucking phoenix," she'd told herself during her last battle. "You've got this. You will rise." She laughed about going bald again, saying it just meant her fiery alter ego could come out to play.
Your First Steps Through Fire
Maybe you're here because:
A diagnosis changed everything
A relationship ended when you thought it was forever
Loss has carved out spaces you don't know how to fill
Life has burned down what you carefully built
Whatever brought you here, I want you to know something: you're not alone in these ashes.
Practical Tools for Rising
1. The Phoenix Practice (Daily Check-in)
Where am I in the Order-Disorder-Reorder cycle today?
What feels like ashes right now?
Where do I see tiny sparks of new life?
2. The Rising Ritual
Morning: "I'm a fucking phoenix. I've got this."
Afternoon: Notice one thing that didn't burn
Evening: Name one spark of hope, no matter how small
3. Your Survival Log
Keep track of:
Small victories (I got out of bed)
Unexpected helpers (The nurse who stayed late)
Moments of peace (Five minutes of normal)
When Everything Burns
As a young adult navigating cardiology, oncology, hematology, pulmonary, endocrinology, and nephrology (try saying that five times fast), I learned something: sometimes life strips us down to bare bones. Through long ICU stays, being pulled back to life by paramedics at home, placed on life support in ambulances, and saved in emergency rooms, I discovered that while my story shook us to the core, it's a path many walk.
Faith isn't the absence of fear—it's the ability to keep going, trusting there's a bigger plan at work. Even when that plan looks nothing like what you imagined.
Your Phoenix Moments
Take a moment now to reflect:
What part of your life feels like it's in flames?
Where do you need to give yourself permission to rise?
What would your phoenix tattoo say to you?
The Epic Comeback Connection
At Epic Comeback, we partner with people who are ready to take their lives back from devastation, diagnosis, death, or loss. We offer:
Weekly Rising Circles (online and in-person)
Phoenix Tools for daily survival
Connection with others who get it
A path forward when you can't see one
Because here's what I know for sure: you're stronger than you think, braver than you believe, and more resilient than you know. How do I know? Because you're still here, reading these words, looking for your way forward.
With hope and phoenix fire,
Cindy
P.S. If you're in the ashes right now, just focus on breathing. That's enough for today. Tomorrow, we'll talk about finding gold in these broken places.
